Heart, Humor, Help

People ask me all the time for my leadership "framework." They're expecting a chart with arrows, maybe a pyramid. I've got three words. Heart, Humor, Help. That's it. And before you decide that's too simple to matter, let me tell you — the simple ones are the hardest to actually live.

Heart

Lead with heart, because people can always tell when you don't. You can fake a lot of things at work. You cannot fake caring — not for long. People have a radar for it, and once they figure out you only care about the numbers, they'll give you exactly the numbers and not one ounce more. But care about the person first, honestly, and they'll walk through walls with you. I didn't learn that in a seminar. I learned it from the best boss I ever had, a man who knew everybody's kids' names and exactly when to get out of the way.

Humor

Keep your humor, because the work is hard and laughing beats quitting. I'm 63. I've buried people I loved, been married three times, and been humbled more times than I can count. If I couldn't laugh — mostly at myself — I'd have quit a long time ago. Humor isn't about being the class clown. It's about not taking yourself so seriously that you crack under the weight. A leader who can laugh at their own dumb mistake gives everybody else permission to be human too. That's a gift.

Help

And help. Actually help. Real, practical, roll-up-your-sleeves help, with no invoice attached and no angle. This is the one that separates the talkers from the leaders. Anybody can post an inspiring quote. A leader notices the person struggling and quietly does something about it. That's the whole reason this nonprofit exists — not to sound wise, but to actually help a kid, a team, a tired parent get a little better.

Why three words

I kept it to three on purpose. You can remember three words in a hard moment. When you're frustrated, tired, and about to say something you'll regret, you can't run a twelve-step model in your head — but you can ask, "Am I leading with heart right now? Where's my humor? How can I actually help?" Three questions. They fit in a pocket. And they've never once steered me wrong.